Waiting

It seems that is all we do is wait don't we. We wait to start a cycle then wait for injections then wait for follicles its just one waiting game after another and it doesn't end. I am so nervous waiting for my first ultrasound which is FOREVER AWAY. It really is only next Friday but today is Monday people so that is far away for me to just sit here and wait and think and hope. I am feeling really good still I just have this peaceful calm about me that I didn't think I would have I thought I would be losing my shit over every little thing but that is not the case which is a good thing. I am just going with this and trying to trust my body that it is doing its job. Today I am Five weeks pregnant such a crazy thing to say and think about especially since I have not actually seen the baby but most normal pregnant women would not even know they were pregnant yet. All the joys that come with doing IVF. I still am so happy to make it this far its amazing to think about what is going on inside me I can't help but be scared things are not okay but I try to stay positive its scary not knowing what to expect since I have never been pregnant before and we know nothing was wrong with me reproductively speaking we were dealing with my poor husband and his not wanting to cooperate sperm counts. I also feel lucky that is the hand we were dealt I know it could be so much worse I read and see what other people are dealing with while TTC and its rough there is much worse we could have been dealt with but it still doesn't make any of this any easier on us. I keep going to my closet and pulling out that very first baby outfit we ever bought after doing the embryo transfer we never thought about even going into the baby isle the first time and I just stare at and and hope and pray that in November I will have a tiny little being to dress in it. According to the week by week I know crazy for even looking it up but I am trying to stay positive and believe that this is really happening finally its a total mind warp it really is. As of today, your baby's the size of an appleseed! Your embryo is now measurable -- though at week five, it's a wee .13 inches -- and she's gearing up for much more growth. In fact, in the next week, she'll almost double in size. Grow baby grow! Also from here The embryo doesn't look like much more than a tadpole right now, but at five weeks, she's already starting to form major organs (heart, stomach, liver, kidney) and systems (digestive, circulatory, nervous). That information is per http://pregnant.thebump.com/pregnancy-week-by-week/5-weeks-pregnant.aspx I never thought I would see the day I would be googling the things I have been but at least for now Today I am still pregnant and I am so very thankful.