Three months old

We made it my little man is three whole months old and its just crazy to think back to going through IVF and to see where we are now. Never would I have imagined I would have this sweet baby boy and I cant be thankful enough for him. I makes me so sad to think that if we would not have done things at the exact moment in time that we did this precious little boy would not be here. It could be a whole different baby and I just am so happy that we were blessed with him he was the one we were waiting for and he is just amazing. I love his little personality that is coming out he is such a happy little guy! He spends most of the day smiling and it just melts my heart. We have finally gotten a few laughs out of him and its the most adorable thing ever he sure makes you work for those though. He is starting to hold his head up really well and can support it most of the time himself. He eats about every two hours still but at nights he will go three to four. He is a very big boy at 15 pounds he definitely likes his milk. We have gotten into a pretty good schedule and the days fly right by. He just now has started to be very interested in his toys he really loves this one we have the you can spin it and it makes a really loud sound he is so smart and will spin it around and around to hear the noise. I cant believe how smart he already is they just grow and learn so fast it really is amazing. He is wearing size three diapers and has the chubbiest little legs. He can roll onto his side I think if his cloth diapers were not so big on him because they are the one size fits all that he could probably roll onto his stomach I try to give him some naked time so he can do it easier but then we get pee all over lol. He has already started to get sad if he loses sight of me and will start to whine and the second I pop back up he is all smiles again. He really seems to have started teething and gets slobber everywhere and is constantly sucking on his little fingers. We have started to put him in his crib for naps and I have to say the baby monitor is by far the best purchase to date! After a ton of research we spent quite a bit of money on his mattress and I am very happy with it. Its by far the best one out there and most natural organic they make. We got the coco mattress its made out of pure organic coconut husk its seriously amazing but costs us about 400$ well worth it though since he will spend half his little life sleeping on it. He is wearing 3-6 clothes and is just a joy to have around I seriously cant wait for christmas this year its going to be the best! Only issue right now is bedtime its so hard because he is sleeping in our bed next to me which makes breastfeeding at night sooo easy but I am currently feeding him to bed and so when its his bedtime I pretty much have to go to bed too and its kind of a pain in the ass to go to bed so early but usually I am pretty tired by then too. I dont know what to do because he falls asleep so easily and peacefully when I feed him to bed. This is only for nighttime for naps he will put himself to sleep no problem in his crib. I just dont know what to do because for naps he sleeps on his belly while I can watch him very close I dont dare do this at night and he just wont sleep on his back unless I am next to him. Hopefully soon we can get this figured out so we can have our night times back and not have to be so quiet at 8pm lol. I just love this little boy more then I ever thought I could and cant wait to see him grow.

Slobber mouth

Where has the time gone seems days and weeks just fly right by while im tucked into my own little world still figuring out this parenthood thing. Its true your firstborn gets the worst of things its a lot to figure out I am glad I was a middle child lol poor boy has had to learn right along with us but we are getting better everyday. I cant believe here soon he will be three months old its pretty crazy to think he has been here that long already but at the same time what did we ever do without him? You will most definitely never be bored again with a baby there is always something to do. I am afraid we have reached the teething milestone. While most will say its too early I can tell this poor guy is just starting to feel the pain. He DROOLS all day everywhere we are going through so many outfits its just crazy he is constantly spitting out mouthfuls of it and he chokes on it as well. First thing in the mornings we get a big giant smile then fingers straight into the mouth to be chomped on. I made an expensive purchase of all things teething on amazon today and hopefully he will get some relief. I bought the cutest little bandanna bigs they are adorable and will hopefully keep my laundry load down. I also bought those little mesh binkis and am hoping to freeze some breast milk and let him chomp away! I got him one of those raw amber teething necklaces we will have to see how it does im not sure but its worth a shot and the reviews were all great. It seems this has interrupted his sleep and nap time already. We were finally at a place where he was going for four to five hours at night then two or three and it was awesome! His naps were pretty good too we would get some two and a half hours with a few halfs thrown in but now oh now its much different. Lets see last night finally got him to sleep around nine pm only to wake up at ten pm. This went on and on he probably only slept for maybe 2.5 hour stretch at most all night and poor thing was so tired. I dont even want to talk about naps today ha ha he has slept for 55 minutes ALL DAY. Its so sad to see him so tired and not be able to rest peacefully makes me very sad but soon this shall pass too at least I now know thing part of parenthood that hard times will keep coming and going as long as they do go we will make it through. I tell you what once you make it past a newborn I feel like you can handle anything they throw at you lol. My little mr is getting to be such a smarty pants he will now hold his toys and put them in his little mouth it is very adorable but oh man watch out if he drops it all hell breaks lose until I can as fast as possible get it back into he hands. Life is good over here loving my little boy and thankful for him everyday three month update to come soon!

One day

There is going to come a time where I am going to miss all of this. This time in my life right now all these moments are going to keep coming and going. While its hard to understand right now through my new mamma fog brain I am going to miss this. I wish I could capture all of these memories and save them for my future self. The raw emotions a new mother goes through all the learning she has to do to become the person she was meant to be. If I could only pause time right now and go ask my future old self what I miss the most and what to cherish before its all gone so fast. I try my hardest to appreciate the time we have right now together the days already pass by so fast your getting so big growing right before my eyes. Its hard to think right now or at 1 am and again at 3 am sometimes all night long that soon you wont need this you wont need me in the night anymore. I try to remind myself to always be patient and to relish in everything you do and I think I do pretty good the best I can in my sleep deprived state but im afraid it wont be enough that my future self is going to be upset I didnt try harder to live in the moment. I wont lie sometimes late at night I tell myself I wish you would grow faster and be older so this isnt so hard. Its those new mama emotions someone should warn you about but seems no one ever mentions the fierce part of nature that takes over your body in those first few weeks they took me by a storm. I lost myself in a million little pieces only to find who I was always meant to be. Now here we are almost two and half months later and im not so scared anymore we know each other and I have fallen in love so much harder then I thought was even possible. Now im going to do my best to savor every moment we have right now because its all going to be gone too soon. I want to always remember the way you stare it seems right through me when your nursing the way you accidently unlatch yourself because your smiling so big. The middle of the night when the world is asleep and its just me and you and the quiet no noise no lights your chubby little hands gripping on so tight. I could already go back and tell the new mom that was crying day and night in the beginning to just hang on tell her she is already missing out on you missing the newborn moments in the haze. So for now today and always I am going to think to my future self and what would she be saying so I dont look back and regret missing out I want to feel it all its okay if I dont sleep again anytime soon I know one day that I will and I will wish that I wasnt. I love you little boy you made me something I was not before and I am learning right along with you one day at a time.