shabby

Friday, May 30, 2014

Joys

Now that we are fully into our second trimester I really am starting to feel so great. I feel so much more positive about everything and I have really started to be able to connect with the baby more. I was so scared going through IVF and all that was going to take all of this away from me with how scared I was when we first found out it worked. I have never been more scared of something my whole life it was such a surreal feeling I just didn't know what to do with it. I am feeling so happy these days and just very thankful to have come so far. They are not lying when they say the second trimester is the best one. I am not sick at all anymore and that has really helped with things. I still do get tired but its not as intense as it was at first. I am going to have to start updating my bump pictures because I FINALLY have a little tiny bump showing could be just because I am not working out like I am used to I just don't feel pressured to do it like I did before I am still doing them here and there but my focus is mostly on eating right and planning things right now. I so thought something was wrong with the baby like growth wise I am only 5 1" and weigh 103 lbs very tiny frame but I just thought that would make showing happen that much sooner so when everyone is like oh my gosh your so skinny it was starting to get to me. Thankfully everything is great and the baby is just fine I guess all those ab workouts were just paying off and holding it all in. Now my boobs are a totally different story my husband cant even believe how big they have gotten I started out a 36 B and I am barley fitting in 36 C right now I am sure I could fit into some D sizes with my tiny frame it looks like a got this huge boob job but I am not complaining lol. I think if they keep this up though I might start to look a little ridiculous ha ha. Today I am 14 weeks 3 days pregnant it just feels so amazing to be able to say this. The baby is so big already and looks just like a fully developed baby. I am SO excited about tomorrow we have our early gender scan at noon its so amazing to think we may be able to find out if we are going to have a son or a daughter I just cant even believe it I am so happy!!! It just makes all of this so much more real to me I have been doing research like a crazy person and have a pretty good birth plan already drawn up im sure it will change but I feel pretty good about what we want and I just hope the hospital is going to work with us if not they are going to have one crazy pregnant lady freaking out. We are doing stuff very differently then what it seems most do of course things can change and happen I am keeping that in mind but as long as things are going smooth I will make sure we are in charge and not the hospital because we don't want a lot of what they usually do happening to our baby. I may post what we have so far sometime but its very personal choices and I know a lot of people are just very opinionated about it which is fine but we paid a lot of money and went through hell to get this little baby im not about to let anyone do anything to it that we don't see fit. We made the first big buy and bought a baby swing I was so excited about this its an awesome one and it even lets you unhook the seat and turns into a baby bouncer so if baby falls asleep in the swing you don't have to wake them up to move them just pop out the seat and take it with you its seriously awesome and has great reviews we put it together and I just stare at it and just feel so happy to be in this place right now. I am totally freaking out about tomorrow I dont even know how to feel I am super excited for my husband to see the baby the last time he seen it was at nine weeks it barley had arm and leg buds and when I seen it at twelve weeks it had long legs and arms and was touching its sweet little face I cant imagine what it will look like at this one tomorrow he is going to just lose it I bet! Something I thought was cool It is a native Hawaiian belief that the placenta is part of the child. It is a tradition to plant the placenta with a tree, which then grows alongside the child. How crazy huh just thought that was a sweet fact we are actually going to have ours encapsulated I know gross crazy right but its so beneficial I have been doing research and found a great certified place to do this for us and the benefits are just amazing I am happy with this choice. The baby can officially hear us now which just blows me away Its so crazy they say they will react to your voice now and move and just can get to know you more at this stage. I told my husband watch your mouth now no negatives ha ha he has been so good with everything I have definitely not been an easy person to deal with lately these hormones are no joke I thought the injections made me a crazy bitch its nothing compared to this lol nothing. Well that is all for now cant wait to be back with a gender reveal Hopefully!!!!

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

The stash

This is what we have so far and I love it I am so excited for it thank you thank you whatever is out there looking out for us!!!!!
Starts of a cloth diaper stash One outfit we bought when we did the transfer must be the good luck outfit!!! Two onsies that are adorable Car seat cover Nursing cover Baby sling Belly bands First mothers day gift Picture frame Nursing pillow Yayyyy!!!!!!

Monday, May 19, 2014

My new baby!!

Well for now that is lol!! So my car was a Scion TC awesome car sporty fun sunroof and was pretty quick. Sad thing is I live in Utah and well you know the weather here sucks our winters are horrible and my fun pretty car was not so fun during the snow time. It actually really sucked to drive in and was very scary I got stuck multiple times during each winter. So my pretty much just had to have car when I was kidless with no known end in site was also only a two door not baby friendly at all. So we finally went out and got me and new one and oh my goodness I could not be more excited about what we got. Me and my husband have been BMW fans for such a long time but you know were not rich by any means and well those cars mostly seem to belong to people with a lot of money because well they cost a lot of money. Well we got one and didnt have to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars either it is sooo pretty and such a nice reliable car. We bought a 330xi all wheel drive it will be great in the snow it has four doors with lots of room it is going to be a great car for our family. We took it and showed my mom and she about died she was super happy for us though I am just thankful come this winter I will be safe my husband got his new truck last year and he will be safe that is what is most important. This baby is amazing though a lot of my friends and family our pretty jealous and not so happy you could tell but it is what it is and we deserve it we have been through hell and spent all our money on nothing but IVF and medications so to hell with all the people that cant be happy for us I just feel so much better knowing the baby is going to be safe! So officially into the second trimester I cant believe how fast its going now I feel like I need to get the whole nursery done asap but we have not even started I think I will wait until we know what were having for sure but we do plan to redo the entire room were using. We have been keeping the dogs in their and I just dont want the gross dogs to be the last ones all over the carpet and stuff so we will be ripping it out and putting all new stuff in. I cant wait for that time to come mostly I have been focusing on getting the cloth diaper stash going we pretty much know what were buying and have gotten a few things already. It was so cute teaching my husband how to use them he is going to be a pro in no time. I finally got the free belly bands and the free carseat cover the rest should be here tomorrow its so fun to go look at baby stuff we used to do it just for fun before when we were doing IVF it was nice for us to check it out and just get excited for when we would finally be able to shop there but now to be able to actually buy stuff for a real baby that is OURS is just amazing I cant wait to find out in two weeks what this little one is. I am 13 weeks today so crazy to think about whenever I want to hear the heartbeat its super easy to find and nice in strong around the 160's I just love my doppler! Well I will leave you with pictures of my pretty new ride ahh so excited and happy!!

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Camping and 12 weeks

We thought it was a good idea to go camping in Moab ha ha and it was a pretty good time but oh my goodness if you have never been camping in Moab there is NO shade like none just basically in the million degree weather in the desert with pretty canyons around you. It was soooo hot I thought I would melt and die. We went with a good group of friends but my goodness I really just wanted to leave and go swimming in a nice cold pool. It was really pretty and we all brought our dogs which was an event in itself lol. I thought I could make a simple 1.5 mile hike to a pretty arch figured it would be no problem. Then we started walking and walking and it was ten hundred degrees out and the dogs could barely make it I stopped and thought hmmm maybe this is not a safe idea for a pregnant lady to be doing. The poor dogs were stopping at any tiny little shade spot they could find and would lay down and be like okay were done then I spotted a very pregnant lady and was like well gosh if she can do it and make it and be that pregnant I guess its okay lol well made it around the corner and was done I was just too hot we had water but I was dying so I made my husband and our two dogs that were more than happy to be leaving to an air conditioned truck leave and go back to camp. I have a two year old pitbull and she loves to play and run and chase anything anyone throws well the guys were playing frisbee for a while and she just ran and chased that thing for hours straight sure enough she starts limping and im like way to go dog hurt yourself because you're obsessed with chasing things. She was still trying to chase her ball and could not even walk. I thought she was just sore but after awhile we thought we better check her to make sure she was not hurt and sure enough she had literally ran holes through three of her paws pretty much like a road rash it looked terrible we tried to use gauze and patch it up but she was just miserable so we packed up a day early and went home. I was so happy to be home though nice cold house with shade and comfortable bed. So ya never going camping in Moab again ha ha maybe stay in a hotel but camping no thanks. I will stick to my pretty canyon with lots of trees and shade to camp in! Well yesterday we had our 12 week appointment with my new midwife. Oh my gosh I loved her she is so awesome and is so much better then the OB was. It was a totally different experience I am so glad I decided to switch. I was not supposed to get an ultrasound but she was like well you deserve to see that baby again I was so happy and she wheeled in the dinosaur aka super old pos ultrasound machine ha ha but still there was my now fully developed baby with arms and legs kicking up a storm and touching its cute little face I could not believe that this early and they fully look like babies already its so crazy! So technically I am into my second trimester which feels so good I have not gotten sick for a week now and I just all around am feeling better about things turning out okay. I am so proud of my baby for growing so good and making it through all the chances and obstacles what a fighter we have already. I wish I could have gotten pictures but we did schedule an early gender scan I will be almost 15 weeks and we should get a good idea of what this little baby is I can not wait!!!! Its for the 31st this whole thing is just going to fast now I am already 1/3 done with it and we just started it seems I just cant wait to do the nursery I have been dreaming of this for years and finally we are going to be able to do it ahhh I am so thankful!!!

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Free baby stuff

Well I dont really know if anyone even reads this but I was sent the best deal yesterday in an email. Its a mothers day special and while I know a lot of you are still struggling to get here my blog was never intended to be an infertility blog. Its just a blog about my life for me to remember so I hope I dont come off as being insensitive because that is not what I am doing I am just trying to remember this as much as I can because I fought really hard to get to this point and this is just basically a journal for me. Well if you do read this and you are pregnant or know someone that is or even if you just want to prepare for the future pregnancy I could not believe I got all this stuff for free I only paid shipping. Here are the details if interested I paid about 50$ worth of shipping but what I got was close to 350 dollars worth of baby stuff I am so so excited for it to all get here I just still cant believe it that I me am purchasing baby stuff for MY baby whew so crazy I also got to stop PIO injections and my poor butt could not be any happier!!! I told the facebook world yesterday too and was overwhelmed at such positive happy responses it feels good so many of our friends and family are excited and happy for us. Here are the details on how to get the baby products for free it goes through paypal also so it is very secure I made sure this was no scam first!!! Keep your hands free and your baby close with the sleek and stylish Seven™ baby carrier. Designed to be lightweight and easy to use, the Seven™ Sling will help you to get the things you need to get done, done. Go to www.sevenslings.com and use promo code "LOYAL14” at check out to receive 100% off your choice of Seven™ Sling ($40 Value) today! Designed for comfort and convenience, our Nursing Pillow is great for both mom and baby. Available in both printed designs and Minky, you're sure to find the perfect pillow for you! Receive a FREE printed Nursing Pillow ($40 Value) today! Go to www.nursingpillow.com to redeem this special offer! Gone are the days of boring, mediocre breast pads! Say ‘hello' to our 5-ply washable Breast Pads, available in 30 great prints. With so many to choose from, we know you will find some you love! Use promo code "LOYAL14” at www.breastpads.com to receive 10 FREE PAIRS of Breast Pads ($35 Value) today! Be chic and discreet with our Udder Covers nursing cover! Designed to be sleek and provide maximum coverage, the Udder Cover makes it easy and comfortable to breastfeed anytime, any place! Go to www.uddercovers.com and enter the promo code "LOYAL14” to receive a FREE Udder Cover ($35 Value) of your choice! Available in 21 bold prints, the Carseat Canopy will take your baby's car seat to the next level! Designed to keep your baby cool in the summer and warm in the winter, you can't go wrong with the Carseat Canopy! Redeem the promo code "LOYAL14” today at www.carseatcanopy.com to receive a FREE Carseat Canopy ($50 Value)! Keep your baby's knees protected in style with Baby Leggings! Accentuate your child's personality with any of our 70+ quality prints! Receive 5 FREE pairs of Baby Leggings ($50 Value) with code "LOYAL14” at www.babyleggings.com! These are the ones that I ordered ahhh I cant wait!!!! If you cant tell I love all the gray!! :)

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

First purchase!

So we did it we bought our first real baby item I am so excited for it to come. I figured we cant just wait around forever to make sure things are going to be okay before we start buying things. I dont want to feel all rushed right at the end and unprepared. I have been doing tons of research like a crazy person to figure out what will work for us best when choosing baby products. There are so many options out there it is really pretty overwhelming when all I know is stuff like how to get pregnant and fertility things. I am so so excited for our cloth diapers to come!! We have made the decision based on lots of thing for choosing this route. Its by far the best for the baby if you look into it diapers are full of nothing but chemicals and can cause all kinds of problems in the future I wish they would not sell stuff like this if they know this kind of stuff is happening but then again we are in America and they just dont care what they put in our products there are no rules like the rest of the countries. We are really hippies at heart so this was another reason for choosing to go cloth. We dont want to put out garbage that is going to take a ridiculous amount of years to go away literally it takes years and years to decompose. There are so many other reasons for choosing cloth diapers I am just so excited and love that my husband is just like me and is all for choosing this option sure its going to take some time to get used to but there are so many ways to make it easy now. Oh my gosh can you imagine a little newborn in those it just makes me so excited and happy they should be here really soon we bought them off of diapers.com I totally recommend this site we got a great deal on this pack and also they have codes for first time customers that are 20% off first purchase plus free fast shipping I wish I would have known that before we bought just that pack and some extra pre folds but we are going to do a new account under my husbands name also when we figure out the rest of what we need so we can get another great deal! I feel so happy to be here and be making these choices I never thought I would see this day come.

Monday, May 5, 2014

Almost there!!

Well still a really long ways to go but so happy to almost be done with this first trimester. Its just so unreal still I will listen to the heartbeat with my doppler and I just still cant wrap my head around bringing this baby home in November! I sometimes wonder if this is how it is for all pregnant women or if its just how it is after you fight so hard and come up empty for so long that its just hard for your brain to adjust to it finally actually happening. If it was not for hearing that heartbeat and seeing that little baby dancing on the ultrasound I would have to say I was crazy and making it all up but its really real I am starting to get so much more excited now that we have almost made it out of the first trimester. I guess it depends on which place you ask some say 12 weeks some say 13 weeks I don't know I will just go with 12 weeks ha ha and its almost here!!! Today I am 11 weeks exactly and I just feel so happy and grateful to have come this far that little miracle is doing amazing things right now. I dont think I will get to see it again until the gender screening at 20 weeks which makes me sad so instead I have been googling others who have gotten one at the same time and it looks so much like a real baby now I cant believe it! I am thinking I am going to tell my work family here on friday I think I want to buy some pink and blue cupcakes to make it obvious and just send an email out and let them figure it out I think it will be fun for them and should be pretty easy to guess since I have been running to the bathroom sick lately. A little update on what that amazing thing is doing! Your baby, just over 1 1/2 inches long and about the size of a fig, is now almost fully formed. Her hands will soon open and close into fists, tiny tooth buds are beginning to appear under her gums, and some of her bones are beginning to harden. She's already busy kicking and stretching, and her tiny movements are so effortless they look like water ballet. These movements will become more frequent as her body grows and becomes more developed and functional. You won't feel your baby's acrobatics for another month or two — nor will you notice the hiccupping that may be happening now that her diaphragm is forming. Babycenter.com Wow huh is that not just the craziest stuff you ever heard gosh its just amazing to me. I have heard size of a fig or a large lime that seems so huge to me I think its funny they choose food to compare but hey it does give you an idea. I think one of our first major purchases is going to be cloth diapers. I have been doing so much research and its just so sad the chemicals America allows companies to put in baby stuff it just makes me sick really. We are really only one of the countries that lets this happen you would think they would care about us a little bit more but thats just not the case here. So we are all for organic and cloth diapering I found some really good places to start but it is going to be a little costly at first to get all the supplies so so worth it!! They are freaking adorable too I just cant wait to find out what this little being is I am feeling like its a boy for some reason I dont know but here in a couple months we will see if i'm right husband thinks its a girl. I was asked the other day when will I be in the "safe zone" I just stared and was like well really you are never safe until that baby is in your arms anything can happen I am definitely not going to take that for granted but I am starting to feel more comfortable with the pregnancy and starting to feel like I will get to finally be a mother this year. Symptoms still have very sore boobs hurts so bad they feel rock solid and almost like they are just stuck in place also still getting sick and still having very crazy dream still feeling super happy about all of the above!!! I read your blogs and look for updates everyday and I just cant wait until were all in this place every one of us deserves this so much it will happen one way or another we will all get our babies. The fight is definitely worth it don't give up!!!