The Holidays!!!!

There really is something about this time of year! I just love it you can feel the excitement in the air its amazing. I love seeing the early celebrators they just have so much life in them and you can feel it in their energy. I wish I had all the great holiday tradition memories and all the family stories to go with that but I just don't. I don't really remember anything like that from my past I think a lot of the negative that happened took away a lot of the some good memories that there actually were. That's okay though no complaining happening over here I just will have to be better at making my own traditions and hopefully we can start next year if all goes as planned with my cycle! I found a really cute idea that I love for a tradition with my future kids. Every year on Christmas eve we did get to open one present but it was not really special or anything its just something that happened. So for my kids I want to still open the one Christmas present but I want it to be a little box with some new pajamas, a new movie, and some treats and hot chocolate. I think its such a good idea I really liked it. For an UPDATE on the cycle its still going really good and actually moving along really fast. I thought it was going to drag but with the holidays and everything going on I'm already on day 8!! I have been taking clomid days 3-7 just took my last pill yesterday then also taking femara days 3-9 so I have two more nights of that. We go for ultrasound this Friday and we will get a better idea of what is going to happen next. I'm still feeling really positive I just really truly hope we get a break finally but we will see I know no matter what happens we will get our family eventually I'm just you know running out of patience I didn't have to start with lol! This whole process is just so much more then you can even understand of course unless you have been there :) I start taking my antibiotic and the indomethicin tomorrow to prepare for the egg retrieval and also to keep me from ovulating don't want that happening! Then on Friday we will be given an injection class more for my husband because I have been injection him for almost six months I'm pretty damn good now I just might do my own depending on how good he does haha. So here is to the Holidays and being shot up with the magic medicines I hope everyone has an amazing Thanksgiving pictures to come soon!!

To Oregon and eating healthy!

So we decided last weekend to take a spontaneous last mini vacation to Oregon before the madness ensued. Its was really a lot of fun even though we didn't have that long out there. It was much needed we even took half of our zoo along for the ride which was pretty interesting! I have to say I love Portland its absolutely beautiful even with all the rain. It makes it look like an enchanted forest everywhere you go with all the moss on everything I loved it! We visited this awesome little place to stop and eat I highly recommend the TIN SHED. They were so nice and even better we got to bring our dogs inside with us they even have a dog menu! How cool is that also their are over 40 dog parks in just Portland its a very dog friendly place to live.
We stayed on the lovely island of Hayden. So pretty I tell you it was just so fun to even get outside and just walk along the Columbia river. We even had time to make it to a few tourists spots to see such as the First Presbyterianism church, the Japanese gardens, and the Oregon zoo.

It was so needed couldn't have turned out better! On the way home we were lucky enough to spot the Columbia river gorge waterfall. WOW it was so pretty and really really big I am really glad we stopped to see it if you ever have time to hop on that scenic old highway DO IT!!! Its worth all the waterfalls and pretty views along the way back to the freeway.

UPDATE ON CYCLE: Everything is going so much better then I thought. When we did our IUI's I only took Clomid and it really did a number on me. I had such bad side effects and was a complete mess on it. So imagine my surprise when this round of IVF I'm on all kinds of stuff on top of the clomid and you know what I'm doing just fine. Poor Jake only had to deal with one break down at this point. AWESOME lol! Today is officially day 6! I go back this Friday on the 10th for a follow up ultrasound and start my injections cant even wait! for now I leave you with my new pharmacy and my all new healthy eating habits which started this weekend and is on full force!

Background

So I thought maybe I should put a little more background on this amazing journey :) I have been married to my husband Jake for almost three years now but together for close to eight. We have been through so much in such a short period of time. I lost my dad when I was 17 and me and Jake had just gotten together. He was so amazing through it all he really is such a great guy. Not soon after I lost my brother in law that left behind my older sister and her two kids with one on the way. Then again lost my grandmother not too long after that. Its been a long crazy road. To watch my husband deal with me going through all those losses and then stepping up to be there for my sister to take out her trash and watch him fix my mom and sisters cars it was just amazing. He is so selfless and I feel really lucky to have a man like that. If you could see him with my Pitbull which has been our baby for now, you can see he is going to be the best daddy in the world. Well not too long after we were together maybe a couple years we decided to start trying and try we did! We went for about 7-8 months before I started to get worried. I thought that I just knew it was something wrong with me and it was all my fault. We gave up for a while because really we were too young back then anyways and not in the best place. That adds to my gratefulness of this journey also. I have wanted a baby for so long now that its not that it doesn't not hurt but I have come to terms with what is going on and its okay because I now see the bigger picture and there is one and it is beautiful. After maybe another year goes by we finally go get things checked out. I pass with flying colors. My husband ended up having a very low count of everything and it broke my heart to see his pain. I hated that I couldn't do anything I couldn't fix this it was beyond both of us. Now two things  can happen after you hear this you can let it eat you away and tare what was once a great couple apart or it can make you see everything in a way you never would have seen before. It can make you so much closer to the people you love. It can do many great things if you deal with it in the right way. Now everyone is different and has different things going on I'm talking about my life and what happened with it so keep that in mind lol :) Anyways so here we are five years later Two IUI's under our belt and going full force with our first IVF. I'm positive and I'm feeling really good about it either way if it works AMAZING if it doesn't, well we will have a baby one day no matter how it gets here by us or adoption whatever life has is store were ready and waiting!

Baseline Ultrasound

Well it was not as bad as I thought it would be so that is good haha! I was afraid it would be a mess and it ended up fine. Everything is looking good and were ready to do this! I am excited I feel really good about it but I am going to be smart at the same time. I know crazy things happen and they happen often but its not in my control really so why worry about it and cause negative energy. My husband came with me he is really great about being there for everything every time. He makes me laugh the whole time so it helps. Start taking clomid and femura tomorrow we will see how much these crazy pills make me crazy. :) Waiting for the rest of my pharmacy to arrive hopefully by tomorrow then I will have to post pictures of the madness!

ITS ON!

Well I didnt have to wait too long just about sixty seconds after that post I started the cycle I have been waiting so long for. LOL it was actually kind of funny and ironic. Well people here we go ITS ON!!!!!!!!

Any Day...

Any day now I am waiting and waiting. Its no fun really playing the waiting game. We wait our whole lives to grow up, go to college, get married, have a family. Now I have done all of those things but I'm waiting for the best that has yet to come. To start my family, now it doesn't go without a whole lot of trying. I married an amazing man that I love to death. He has a huge heart and I have been waiting a really long time to see him use some of that love on a baby of ours. We have been "Trying to conceive" for about four years now. Its hard, its horrible its all those things you hear about it and more. Call me crazy but I'm so grateful. Not that I would wish this upon anyone its full of challenges but I'm so grateful because now I see what I'm missing out on. I want this in a whole new way that I never ever would have been able to understand if I didn't have to go through these challenges and for that I truly am grateful. So let the waiting continue because Any day now I'm going to start a cycle that is full of hope and I just cant wait for it to get here IVF baby bring it on!!!

This beautiful Life of mine

First post.. Its like writing my very own book on my life. Something I have always wanted to do and yet never sat down and got it done. Well here I am finally and the best part is that right now Life is beautiful and I am loving everything about it! It most definitely was not always this way but for the most part I'm grateful. The struggles have made this life even more beautiful then it could have ever been without those. Now were starting a new journey of love, life, and laughter and I'm just so excited. Lets see what the future has in store.