Really a One month old?!

Seriously someone slap me I cant even believe it. This past month flew by its just crazy how fast the days go when they all blur into each other. I am doing pretty good postpartum still bleeding a little bit but its almost finally done. I did end up tearing a little bit so that is still healing but I am feeling much more back to normal as the days go on. Breastfeeding is going really well I feel lucky I got such a good little latcher he knew what to do right from the beginning I did end up using a shield for the first two weeks but now we are doing great without it. The boob is by far his favorite thing ever. I cant get over that I have a one month old son it still feels very surreal. He is getting a little better with sleeping its still kind of all over the place I don't think we will try to establish a routine until he is at least two months old maybe three I just dont want to push him too soon. I ended up taking him back to the doctors he has been getting very upset in the evenings and we just didnt know if he was getting sick or what but we lucked out he is one of those colic babies ha ha figures after spending 20 grand just to get him and then another 12 grand to have him and then four days in the nicu colic is just the icing on top but we are so grateful for him we don't care either way but let me tell you its a challenge to listen to your baby scream for hours and nothing you do helps him it breaks my heart and I cry right a long with him. He has good days too though actually more good then bad so its all okay and only temporary. At the doctors my little chubster weighed 9.7 crazy how fast he is growing and that was almost a week okay. He is slowly outgrowing his newborn clothes but still is too small for a lot of the 0-3 months so were just wearing what works right now. He is starting to be more aware of his surroundings and love to stare at pictures on the wall and gets overstimulated if he catches the tv we try to turn him away from it and he will strain his little head so hard and get mad its adorable. He loves bath time its got to be right up there with the boob for him. I am just so happy and in love with my little boy and cant wait for his first Christmas here its just amazing to finally be in this place I am so thankful for him.

A miracle was born

Lets see how far I can get on this before little man wakes up. Its hard to even remember what day it is so I am glad I am getting time to finally write the birth story out before I forget completely. I had my 40 week appointment Monday November 24 which was my due date. I was all for continuing the pregnancy and hoping he would decide to come on his own. I went in and things were good his heart rate was good measured on track and things looked fine. I had asked the midwife if we could start doing non stress tests and have an ultrasound just to make sure he looked happy enough to keep going a couple more weeks. She thought it was a good idea and said they would have sent me friday anyways to be checked on but I am very very glad I asked to go that monday. I got to the hospital and of course he passed the nst very fast he was always an active boy and heart rate was always very good only took about 20 minutes. Then came the ultrasound it had been a long time since I seen him on one and he took up all the space but I could tell when she was checking the fluid that something didnt look right he looked very cramped in there and it seemed she had a hard time measuring any fluid at all. Sure enough I took the card with the results back to the nurse and she just said uh oh. I am so glad I did this as it could have ended up fatal his chance of cord compression was very high my poor baby had less then a 3 of fluid left he was pretty much out for who knows how long. I am so thankful I can look over and see him sleeping in his swing. After that it all got pretty serious I was to be induced immediately and they talked a lot about a c-section if he looked at all like he was compressing the cord during contractions that was going to happen fast. At this point I didnt care about my birth plan or all the efforts I put into having a natural birth the hypnobabies went right out the window all I wanted was for my baby boy to get here alive and healthy. I was only dilated to a two and about 80% thinned I really hoped I didnt have to have the c section but again I didnt care if that was the case. They started me on the cirvidil they gave me one dose and that really kicked me into labor I started having tons of contractions and I was happy it looked like I was going to be able to stay away from the pitocin. I made it 12 hours without the epidural but the contractions were right on top of eachother and they were getting worried because my poor little boy was not getting good enough breaks in between them this and no fluid his cord was getting smashed each time and he was starting to get tired my little fighter boy. The first decel in his heart rate happened and I had never been so scared in my whole life I swear I could hear that heartbeat sound for days after I had him. He was always quick to bring it back up but at this point I got the epidural I was so scared I would have to have the c section and without an epidural they would have just knocked me out all the way and my husband would not have been able to go. So I got the epidural and was very upset and sad the whole time I just felt like this all was going so fast and it was so so scary. Finally around 1130 am the next day on the 25th I was finally at a ten. My poor boy had a few more decels but they said as long as he looks like he is bouncing back fine and stays like that we were able to avoid the c section. They let me stay complete for about an hour to help the contractions push him down further. I started to push at about noon. I could not believe I was finally going to meet this little boy who we fought so hard for it was all so surreal. This part was probably the scariest for me each contraction I would push so hard then after we would wait to hear the heartbeat come back on and I got so sick I was throwing up I was just so worried his cord was going to get smashed I pushed with everything I had I didnt care how bad I tore I just wanted him out. Finally at 1:49 pm my little boy was born and it was amazing and scary and so many emotions I dont think I could ever get out in words. I held him and he seemed like he was having trouble crying he had a lot of stuff in his lungs so he went to the respiratory guy to get some of it out. Finally then handed me my sweet boy and I just couldnt believe we did it he was here and alive and all ours. We had about five minutes of pure joy before everything temporarily came crashing down which is for the second time that day that was the scariest of my life. My little boy started going a dusky color and the nurse wanted him to go to the nursery to check his oxygen so off him and my husband went. I was stuck getting put all back together and just waiting patiently for them to come back. Well minutes turned into hours and finally I was able to try to get up and go pee so they could wheel me down I had no idea what was going on I was expecting them to be right back. Finally I was able to go see him and it was the hardest thing in the world he was all hooked up to monitors and they already had an IV in his poor little arm. I couldnt stand it it was by far the worst moment of my life my poor little guy had too much fluid in his lungs he couldnt breath through it all. Of course this could have ended up much worse my heart truly goes out to those mothers who have to watch thier babies fight for months in the nicu I cant imagine that three days was enough for me to lose my mind. They ran all kind of tests on him just to make sure there was nothing else going on and they ended up putting him on the cpap for just a few hours to try and get that fluid cleared up they called it transient I guess it happens quite often and I thank god nothing was seriously wrong with him he was healthy just needed a little help transitioning to breathing. Thankfully after three days we got to take our little miracle home I was so scared for him not to be on the monitors I was afraid he would stop breathing for some reason that first week home was hell I was so glad to have him but I cried constantly and didnt sleep at all. I am happy to say it has gotten much much better and he is now three weeks old and still not much sleep but now its because he is a hungry boy and I am all for waking up all night long to feed him and love on him. My birth was not what I expected at all but in the end im just glad I got to take my baby home and I am doing good also I did tare a little bit so that has been the most painful but im feeling better and better each day I am already back down to my pre baby weight and looking much more normal. I love this little boy something fierce and I hope everyone who is still trying does not give up its harder then anything but this little miracle is worth it all.

Two weeks old

Oh my love how can you already be two weeks old yesterday!! Its hard to find the time to write when your always on the boob but that is okay. Where to start I have so much to say but no time to say it. These past two weeks have flew by but at times it goes so slow. I have never been so exhausted or more in love in my whole life. No one could ever prepare you for a newborn its the hardest thing I have ever done but also the most rewarding even if it is just drunken milk smiles at all hours of the night. You dont like to sleep at night and it makes for a very sleep deprived mommy but we are getting the hang of it. When we first got home I was so overwhelmed and scared I didnt sleep for a week straight so scared he would stop breathing in the night. Its gotten much much better I get more and more comfortable with him and it seems we are getting to know eachother more everyday. I love the sweet baby noises you make when you sleep or for the few hours that you are awake and not mad you just stare bright eyed. We think your going to keep those beautiful blue eyes you get those from your daddy you look so much like him its the sweetest thing. Here soon I will get the birth post up just as soon as I get another second to myself. We took you to your check up today and you my boy are growing so well all that boob is really doing something for you you already weight 8.9 lbs and are up to 21 inches thats amazing and makes your mom feel good about all those hours spent feeding you constantly. We managed to get your newborn pictures done not to the delight of yourself though you hated it and screamed the whole time but we got a few ones captured I am happy to at least have a few for the books. I cant wait to see you grow its already going so fast I need to slow down and enjoy these moments even if I cant keep my eyes open. I love you more then you could ever know and im so excited for our future together as a family your waking up now sweet boy got to go.

My whole world

I lay here sometimes in shock I still dont see how this is really my life now. Trying so hard for years to get here and then to wake up to the most adorable noises is so surreal. I look down at him and I cant believe we did it and he is here and our forever. I am so happy that we had to struggle it was hard but the second I laid my eyes on this sweet boy it was all worth it I would do it a hundred times to get him. I just think if we didnt get that loan or find those last minute meds that this exact boy would not be here with us its some kind of fate for sure. I will get around to a birth story it was not all what I wanted and was filled with the scariest time of my life after he was born we didnt get to go home with him for three days he was in the nursery on monitors. Thank god we are home now and he is healthy and the best thing that has ever happened to us. Breastfeeding is hard I dont think I have slept since Tuesday but I could care less everytime he lays there with me looking around making the cutest faces ever who needs sleep this is the life and im so thankful I finally get to have my family. Aiden Noah 7.6 lbs 19 inches born November 25 meet my sweet boy.

Waiting

Oh man I feel like I will go crazy if I dont get to meet this little boy soon!! Today marks 39 weeks 3 days and im getting so anxious. Its not that I am done being pregnant or miserable at all I know I will miss feeling him move all the time but I just want to hold him and see who he looks like. I dont know when he will decide to get here I really just wish it would happen right now I am terrified of going over and getting induced so I have been trying a few natural methods but of course nothing is going to work if he is not ready. This feeling of being this close to something so huge is just hard to explain to know at any moment I could meet my son is almost too much to handle. I had my membranes stripped on Monday and it caused me to lose a lot of mucus plug and was pretty crampy for a couple days but that was all. I just cant wait to hold him and feel his weight in my arms and see who's features he has and who he looks like more. I just want him here so bad I could cry but I will be patient and wait for him to be ready. I just hope its sooner rather then much later I dont want to go over 42 weeks I really dont want to end up with any drugs in my system I am scared for that to happen so im just going to keep walking miles and using my oils and hope he gets good and ready here soon. I keep reading other blogs and seeing them post 37 weeks or 39 weeks then the next post is a birth story or he is here!! I just want my turn and im so so close come on Aiden we got this baby boy!!!!

38+3

So this is what the waiting game feels like. I have to admit its much worse then the two week wait ever was. To be so close to the thing you fought the past four years for is just an indescribable feeling. Any day now I will get to meet my son and its so much I almost cant handle it its hard to even think about. I have just been trying to keep myself as busy as possible I will admit I am running out of patience I just want to see him and hold him now. I had my 38 week appointment yesterday and it went well he is growing like he should and has a strong heartbeat. I was checked again and its about the same as last week 70% effaced and almost at a two. I am getting my membranes stripped on Monday at 39 weeks I just cant wait for him to get here that is the most im willing to intervene and if it doesn't work we will just keep waiting for him to decide its time. I am finally done with work and have been cleaning my butt off around home. Today I vaccumed all the cracks in the living room and then washed the carpets it felt good. It was a good time to be done with work too because it decided to blizzard for the first time this winter. I am so glad to not have to drive home in the mess I really wanted him to be here before the snow hit but thats okay I am grateful we bought a nice car for him to be safe in that is AWD. I am getting uncomfortable for the first time this whole pregnancy my hips kill me at night I dont know if its from the extra weight now or what but my hips and back just hurt I still feel good other then that. Today was the day I predicted he would get here but I was being generous to myself ha ha who knows though he could be here tonight for all I know or it could be a few more weeks please lets not go with that thought though. I am up about 21 pounds so far its slowed way down too I think I will only gain another pound or two at the most I have been really lucky its all baby I have had no swelling at all you cant tell im pregnant anywhere else my face or ankles. It all in the boobs and belly so hopefully afterwards it wont be too hard to get back to the old me. Well I guess im going to take a bath and see if that helps my sore spots lets send baby vibes this way I just want him to get here healthy and safe.

Full term!

I cant believe I am even typing that. I never ever thought we would make it to this point and its still really hard to believe and wrap my mind around it. I remember taking my first pregnancy test after the second IVF cycle I think it was only 6dp3dt and it was a negative I thought its really early but please dont let this be another negative I tried not to worry and knew it was my fault for starting to test so early. I said I was going to wait then of course the next day I woke up and tested. My husband was mad he didnt want to watch me torture myself again. I took that test and it looked like another negative. You know after taking hundreds of tests we save the and always come back later to look at them like a crazy person to see if just maybe we didn't see something. Well thats when I saw it the faintest shadow I have ever seen I had to turn it all sorts of ways to see this shadow but that was the first time I have ever in my life even seen such a thing show up every other time I couldn't make up a shadow if I wanted too. When my husband got home I asked him what he thought and he said he could see it too and that was the first time in my life I let myself think just maybe could this have worked this time I got excited I would open the closet door and look at the tiny baby outfit we had bought after the transfer and just stare at it. I would then tell myself no way its probably just an evap and im going to be heartbroken. The next day I took another one I just had a pack of those cheap internet ones and sure enough a darker little shadow popped up again. I thought no way so of course I did what any crazy obsessed person would do and went out and bought some first response I held my pee all day long and took it. Wow first ever real positive showed up I didnt even know what to think or what to do I never thought we would make it to that point ever. My husband was happy but right after that all the scary thoughts came rushing in I couldnt even fully enjoy it at first I was so scared was it eptopic was I going to end up losing this baby just so much stuff I had never even thought about before went through my mind. It honestly took me a really long time to believe this baby was going to be here to stay and even now being full term I still sometimes think the worst. I dont know if its normal or just after everything we have gone through but the closer we are to meeting this baby I just keep hoping and praying everything goes good and I get to take him home healthy and happy. I am so grateful to have made it this far I was so scared to have a pre term baby I dont know why but sometimes it happens to people for no reason at all and I was just so scared so to have come this far means so much to me. He is an active little boy and I just cant wait to meet him its hard to wait now because I know he would be okay on the outside and I just want him here safe in my arms at this point. Last week at my midwife check up I was 50% thinned out and dilated to a one. I was happy that my body seemed like it was trying to at least do something already I know it could mean nothing but it felt better to hear that then your not dilated or thinned at all. Today is my 37 week check up and I am excited to see if anymore changes are happening I just want to meet him and finally experience being a family of three that we always dreamed of. My guess is the 13th I dont know why but I feel like that is the day everyone at work has taken guesses we will see who ends up right!!

Getting there

Life has been pretty busy and hectic these last couple weeks. Its been a nice distraction and has made the days go by quicker. Today marks 35 whole weeks being pregnant and I still can't even imagine what its going to be like to have a baby. We had quite the weekend this past one. I had my work baby shower on Friday and it turned out amazing all I had to do with this one was show up and it was such a relief to not have to plan and buy and do everything. My family shower I pretty much threw the whole thing because my family just does not have much money and it was fun to do it all but it was a lot my back hurt really bad for like three days after. This one was just simple and easy it was nice to be able to celebrate with my co workers they were with me through so much of the journey. I would have to take shots at work and leave all the time and of course I would be all hormonal and crazy and they would help support me the whole way. It turned out just great and we have more then enough things for this spoiled little boy. So now on to saturday night you never think how difficult it will be to have sex when you're almost nine months pregnant I just never thought about it before I had hard enough time imaging ever getting pregnant so anything past that part I never really thought much of. So here we are trying to figure out way to get the deed done and be comfortable which is just no easy task right now lol. Anyways we always manage to figure it out and well had a good night fast forward to around midnight. I woke up and felt really wet so went to the bathroom to check and my underwear had soaked through I thought hmm how weird but just could be the leftover from a fun night. Well cleaned up went back to bed woke up around 3am and same thing now is when I started to worry. It has never been this much of a mess before so I try to go back to sleep and wake up around 7 and it freaking happens again there goes me in freak out mode thinking my water is leaking!! We get up and get ready then throw the car seat in the car and all we had packed was his bag which we threw in the car too. Got to the hospital and let them know what may be going on. We got admitted and had a nice nurse come in and ask all the questions and then go back to get some tests. Well thank goodness the tests confirmed I was not leaking amniotic fluid!!! It was insane thinking we may just be having a baby we just were so not prepared for him to be here yet and while it was exciting thinking about meeting him already I am thankful he is going to get to grow some more. They checked me and I am not dilated at all which is good to hear but I am already almost 50% effaced which is exciting I will be full term in two more weeks only and I just cant even believe it. So who knows I dont care when he decides to come as long as he is going to be healthy and its on his time. I will tell you that he is very very low so low its hard to walk around we went to the pumpkin patch with my nieces and nephew and im sure people were thinking I was going to be having a baby right then and there! I was walking really funny and squeezing my husbands arm and hands ha ha we were getting some funny looks but there really is a lot of pressure on my cervix right now and im hoping its because he is head down and getting ready to go. I have my appointment next week which I will be 36 almost 37 weeks and they will check me again and we will see what is going on downtown. I am so excited to be here at this point its just so surreal I dont even know what to do with myself lately.

33 weeks!!!!

Things have been going great so far I still would count myself very lucky. We made it through IVF got pregnant made it past the subchorionic blood clot and made it past the 12 week mark. Now here we are 33 weeks along and we have a healthy growing baby boy and I just feel so happy even with the scary cord thing that happened we have come so far and made it past so many obstacles to get here I am just so grateful. I see myself in the mirror now at 8 and half months pregnant and I still cant believe its me sometimes I wake up and think maybe it was all a really good dream then I feel him moving all over and its just so surreal still. I feel like im grateful in a way for having to fight so hard for him I would never see things the way I do without having had to go through that and its clear the differences it has made when I talk to my friends that got pregnant so easy most on accident. I am happy for this insight and the way it has shaped me as a mother. I already appreciate so much more then so many women I know and I am thankful for that. We got our maternity photo shoot done and it turned out so amazing I have waited a long time to get to this point and never even knew if it would come it was such a beautiful day and the pictures so far ones we have seen turned out perfect. My little boy is getting so strong some of his movements have now become painful and its just amazing to watch his whole body move around in there I think he is going to run out of room really fast these days. I just cant wait until we get to see him and hold him in our arms its going by so fast I know he will be here before we even know it. Soon we are going to get the carseat installed and start packing our bags and it still just blows me away I cant believe its us that is going through this and experiencing all these amazing things. According to the bump.com he is the size of a duranian fruit im not sure what that is but by the way he feels in there it must be pretty big already. He weighs around 4.5 to 5.8 pounds he is a little guy like us so im betting were around the 4.5 mark and is over 17 inches long wow!! This has been the most amazing time of my life and sadly im already thinking and not going to lie worrying about a future sibling. Is he ever going to get one how hard will we have to fight for another one? I feel so incredibly lucky to only have had to do two IUI's and two full cycles of IVF to get this little miracle I know it wasn't the easiest but it didn't take 3 or 4 or who knows how many it could have taken to get him. I just hope that the future wont be too hard of a battle for us and we get as lucky as we did this time.

Follow up

Thank goodness for my awesome midwife!! We went to our appointment with the specialist and did a very thorough ultrasound. I am happy to say the cord is not actually around his little neck that it really is only around the back and kind of hangs down on the shoulders at one point we even seen it fall off the shoulder and just float around. The doctor said he is not worried one bit and he wouldn't have been worried if it was around it just once they would have just monitored me a little more closer and maybe have done some NST. I feel so relieved I seriously didnt sleep for the four nights before the appointment finally came I was so scared I would make it tighter somehow. My poor husband hated seeing me so worried I would just start crying and it was just really hard I feel like a lot of it comes from how hard it was to get him im just so scared to lose him we are so close to getting to finally meet him I was just distraught. I am so thankful everything is fine and my plans for a natural birth are still one of course anything can change but for now everything is fine he is healthy and strong and I just cant wait to meet him. We went on a little last vacation and got a cabin in the Colorado mountains it was so pretty and peaceful. We took some cavern rides that went way up to the top of the mountains and it was just beautiful. We stayed right next to the Colorado river and went on some fun hikes. Trying to hike 8 months pregnant is something else though ha ha his little head is right on my cervix and it hurts to feel him bouncing it on it! We even took the dogs and they had a great time I think they thought we were moving in for good. We went to the giant mineral hot springs and it felt amazing I couldnt get in the hot one but they had one that was around 90-93 degrees and it felt awesome plus it was all cold and rainy so it was just very relaxing. We had a great time its so crazy to think here soon it wont just be us anymore I have enjoyed our time we had together to just be us as a couple and enjoy our marriage but im so ready for this new exciting chapter I cant wait for us to experience parenthood the holidays just seem so much better already. Today I am 31w2d getting so so close and thankful for each day he is growing strong inside.

Ten weeks left!!!!!!

Finally made it to the official countdown and could not be more excited! Today I am 30 weeks exactly it really has just flown by. My little boy is doing so good and growing strong he has started to move around so much more and I am definitely getting those kicks to the ribs I always heard about. We went this Saturday and got a 3D ultrasound and it was the most amazing thing ever to see his sweet little face like that. I almost felt like I cheated and peeked on him before we were supposed to ha ha but he looks so much like my husband it just made it so much more real. We also noticed his cord was wrapped around the back of his neck which honestly scared the hell out of me. The person who did the ultrasound is not a certified doctor or anything but did try to say not to worry and that it is really common. So of course I went home and went at it with doctor google. Turns out this is very common and happens in about 30% of pregnancies. Just something new I learn about everyday it seems but still even with that knowledge all I could think about was that cord going around the back of his neck and it was not even around the front of his neck but more looks like he was wearing it like a necklace that comes down in the front. So today I went to my midwifes and let them know my concerns and thankfully they also said they see this all the time and they deliver babies everyday with the cords sometimes wrapped even three times so while this did make me feel better I was still worried. They set me up with a peri thank goodness just to do a follow up and check blood flow to be positive all is well. It will be nice to get that reassurance she said she is mostly doing this for me to be at peace then because she is worried about anything but after all we went through she said she understands being scared about it. So Friday is that appointment then we took a few days off from work to go on a nice last time vacation I am not sure where yet but we do want to go do something one last time before this sweet little boy gets here. I cant believe time is going so fast now I cant wait to meet him and see his little face for reals. We pretty much have everything we need and his room is pretty well done. I just have to start to pack the hospital bag here and there and that just blows me away. We have only 70 days left until the due date I hope he decides to come a little early so we wont be in the hospital for Thanksgiving but whenever he decides to come im okay with. The holidays are going to be so much better I get so excited seeing all of the fall stuff just knowing that its getting closer and closer to when he will come.

28 weeks

Ahhh Seven months today and I cant even believe it. I feel so grateful to have come so far after such a rough journey. I still have dreams and wake up crying remembering the hard times and the what ifs. What if we never have a baby what if IVF never works. There were so many things and it was so hard to keep going. I am so thankful that we only had to do 3 IUI's and Two fresh IVF's to get this little boy. It used to seem like so much and it was in ways but to see so many others struggling and going on their third, fourth even fifth cycles it takes so much out of you to keep going like that I cant even imagine having to keep trying that many times but I would have without a doubt to make it to here eventually. We are all warriors for sure but once you make it here the gratitude you will have for that child is so much more than it ever could have been without the struggle to get here. I am grateful for every kick every single thing pregnancy brings I love it and I hear many of my friend complain non stop about things that they have no idea how lucky they are to even be experiencing its hard to hear but im just glad its not me thats like that and I can truly appreciate this miracle in ways they never would be able to comprehend. It does pay off I can tell you that it ways that are amazing and will forever be in the way you look at and raise your child. The struggle is real but the gratitude and appreciation are so much more. I am now for sure in the third trimester if I was not before. It feels good I have been lucky to not have many problems with being pregnant he is healthy and growing and so am I. My blood pressure is always low and my weight gain has been slow and steady . I go for my glucose test tomorrow hopefully all is well with that. I then have my 28 weeks appointment on thursday and hopefully I have continued to gain weight I can tell he is getting bigger I got my first kick to the rib and while it hurt it was also funny and welcoming. I can now feel body parts poking out I have no idea what they are but its amazing. *How far along: 28 weeks! *Baby's size: Eggplant!! *Baby's progress: 2.5 pounds and over 14 inches. *Weight gain: 113 slowly but surely! *Stretch marks: Boobs. *Sleep: Not too bad getting up to pee now a lot he likes to bounce around on my bladder. *Gender: Little man!!!!!!! *Movement: Lots of rolling and kicks. *Best moment of the week: Finally getting a baby shower of my own it was amazing. *Looking forward too: My baby shower here at work in a few weeks! *Food cravings:Its seems to hover around mexican food. *Labor signs: No thanks stay away please! *symptoms: Still lower back pain. *Workouts: Waiting for my treadmill this weekend! *What I miss: Alcohol lol sad but true! I was so excited to have my first baby shower over the long weekend and it turned out amazing. I was pretty ready for it to be over by the end of it though my back was really starting to hurt. We went with such a cute little man mustache theme and I thought it turned out so great. We got lots of gifts for him and it was awesome just seeing the support. We did the DIY onesies and everyone was so creative we got some really cute ones that I cant wait for him to wear.

3rd Trimester or is it?

I am so happy to have made it here! Now if I could just figure out where exactly here is ha ha. I have been told 26 weeks is the start of the third trimester and I have also heard 28 weeks is the start so im going to go with 27 weeks right in the middle and say that I have made it!! When I got the first squinter line that made me think I was really going crazy and seeing things I never could have imagined making it this far. Of course I hoped with all my heart I would get to take this baby home there are just so many obstacles and things that can happen that make it really hard to believe its actually going to happen. My little man is getting stronger everyday and he makes it very known I just am loving every part of being pregnant and feel so happy grateful for him. I am still feeling nervous I think I will feel that way until he is actually here safe in my arms. I had my first dream of him and it was amazing I just cant wait for it to be real! I have been going to my hypnobirthing classes it has been going so well I really am enjoying them and my husband is even liking them so that really helps. We have been to three so far and I really feel like its going to help me so much I have never felt so relaxed and been able to let go like that its been an awesome experience. Its definitely one of those things you have to keep practicing or it will not be very helpful so im trying to spend a good 30 min or more a day to practicing the techniques. I have been going much more slower down steps after that fall I guess your just so used to being able to run around like you always have that you just have to remember your body is not the same and is going to keep changing. My belly has really started to pop out and its just been so fun to watch him roll all around in it. We have our family baby shower this Saturday and its something I have always dreamed about I cant wait for it!! *How far along: 27 weeks! *Baby's size: A head of cabbage!! *Baby's progress: Over 2 lbs and 14 inches. *Weight gain: 113 slowly but surely! *Stretch marks: Boobs. *Sleep: Not too bad besides these crazy dreams every single night. *Gender: Little man!!!!!!! *Movement: Getting much stronger loves to play at night. *Best moment of the week: Getting the baby shower stuff all figured out. *Looking forward too: His baby shower on Saturday! *Food cravings:Its seems to hover around mexican food. *Labor signs: No thanks stay away please! *symptoms: Still lower back pain. *Workouts: Nothing too crazy still getting a treadmill for my birthday on the sixth. *What I miss: Mojito's.

A trip to L&D

So Thursday started off just awesome by me falling down my carpeted stairs on my butt. I slid down about five of them and had a sore butt and back but I didnt think too much of it really and finished getting ready for work. Once I got to work I decided I better call my midwife and let them know just in case they wanted me to come for a check up or something. Well apparently its a huge deal to fall even if its not a bad one and your butt takes the brunt of it. They told me I needed to go the the hospital asap for monitoring. So luckily I work for the hospital so I just ran up to L&D and figured it would be no big deal they got me all hooked up. Baby boy looks good great heart rate so I was relieved to see that. Next thing I know nurse is coming in telling me I am going to have to stay for 24 hours because I have an irritable uterus. So off to do my own research I go to see if it was this huge crazy ordeal they were making it out to be. Well its absolutely normal to have one and the contractions were barley even ones that could count baby boy was so active every time he bounced around it was showing a contraction on the monitor. I ended up letting them run a few tests and check my cervix. Tests came back negative for going into labor in the next two weeks and cervix was closed. The contractions were most likely just regular normal braxton hicks I could not even feel them. So after about 8 hours and being pressured to admit myself and take all these medications I signed the waiver to leave against medical advice. You would have thought the world was going to end because I was not letting them take everything over I seriously never want to go to the hospital again im terrified of what its going to be like to have this baby in one. Thankfully im going to a different hospital that is not so intervention friendly. Once I got home I stayed in bed for pretty much 24 hours just to be sure my body was doing what it should and now here I am today feeling great and little man is just kicking up a storm as usual. It was a terrible experience and im glad to be okay and more importantly he is okay and not coming anytime soon! I am going to have to be more careful with my steps though they really are slippery with the carpet my husband has even fallen down them. I cant wait for this little boy to get here we are planning the baby shower its happening Aug 30th I am so excited I can hardly stand it. His room is pretty much finished also I cant wait to post pictures it turned out amazing everything I had imagined. 25 weeks 5 days today going strong!!!

When you find yourself here

I could never even get myself to fully imagine what I would feel like when I would finally get here to be pregnant and everything that comes along with it. I honestly never knew if we would ever even make it. So to be here now at 24 weeks pregnant im just blown away by what we are getting to experience and dream. Every night I lay down for bed and this little boy just decides its time to really get things moving and just goes crazy. I am so happy to be able to experience something we wanted so badly and our lucky enough to have gotten. I often see a lot of posts that start out today with viable today or V day I just don't think I feel as excited about the so called viability day as others. I just don't think I feel any safer today then I have the entire time. I am of course completely grateful to have come so far but I just want so badly for him to keep growing strong and healthy in there that today just doesn't ease those fears at least for me. I am amazed at how far we have come though and all the things way he has already grown. Its been amazing to experience those mother hormones before he is even here it just all kicks in so hard and I feel so thankful im getting to experience them. I always wondered why pregnant women always had there hands on their bellies. I now find myself doing the same thing and for me at least its just because I love feeling him move it amazes me I think it always will. I sometimes just stare at my belly dancing around for hours and just laugh and smile. We have gotten the nursery pretty dang far already. My family keeps telling me to stop buying everything and wait for the baby shower but its so hard when you have already waited years to do this and now you get to I can't even help myself. I feel like he could not have come at a better time even though we wanted this so badly for years me and my husband have never been in a better place to have a child and to know its our son it just feels like this was always meant to happen any other way and it would not be him its just crazy in so many ways. I am so grateful to be here I could not even begin to express the gratitude I feel for him. *How far along: 24 weeks! *Baby's size: A freaking canteloup wow!! *Baby's progress: 1.3 lbs and 12 inches. *Weight gain: 111 whoo hoo finally getting somewhere! *Stretch marks: Boobs. *Sleep: Not too bad besides these crazy dreams every single night. *Gender: Little man!!!!!!! *Movement: All of the time now. *Best moment of the week: Getting the changing table set up and ordering the crib. *Looking forward too: Results of Anatomy scan everything looked great from what the tech said but appointment with midwife is on thursday so praying nothing has changed! *Food cravings:Tamales thanks to a cooking show that was on tv lol. *Labor signs: No thanks stay away please! *symptoms: My lower back has started to hurt pretty bad when I am on my feet for too long. *Workouts: Not too much yet just walking mostly still worried to do much other then that. *What I miss: Cold beer but im just fine without it. *Things that suck: I dont even know why this question is on here I dont think I will keep this one because how could anything suck at all right now life has been more amazing then ever. SNEAK PEEKS!!!

Little man

I figured it was about time I do an update on how everything is progressing I am just going to start following a format so I can keep it all together and make sure I note all the important things! How far along: 22 Weeks!!! Baby's size: A Papaya does that sound huge to anyone else baby boy has been growing!! Baby's progress: This always amazes me each week when I read up on him I cant believe he is around a foot long in length and a whole pound makes me so happy I feel so proud already! Weight gain: Working on this but baby is growing just fine started out at 103 now up to 108 finally! Stretch marks: Poor boobs look so different than what they started out like but im okay with it thats the only place I have noticed any marks so far. Sleep: Sleeping pretty good still I wake up now to pee again like I was doing at the start he is really starting to take up some space now. I am mostly worried about sleeping on my back but we got me a snoogle and it has been amazing at keeping me on my sides! Gender: Little man!!!!!!! Movement: Oh yes its a party in there didnt you know when the sun goes down is about when it really is getting started its been so amazing I love every second of it. Best moment of the week: Ordering the glider and rocker should get here tomorrow cant wait to get the nursery finished. Looking forward too: Our 23 Anatomy scan we already know we are having a boy but we still have not gotten the long anatomy scan I am nervous and just hope he is healthy and growing well he sure feels like he is. Food cravings: I have not noticed much of a difference in this I still want the same old things but maybe a chicken enchilada more often then normal. Labor signs: No thanks stay away please! symptoms: Nothing too much really definitely feeling some growing pains it feels like ovulation almost its pretty weird. Workouts: I honestly have been slacking im scared to be to active until I get further along and since I have only gained 5 pounds I am trying to keep all my calories I can get soon here though I will be buying a treadmill and walking everyday. What I miss: Nothing I couldn't live without forever if I had to but I do miss a nice cold Mojito and not walking around like an old person because im scared lol. Things that suck: Not a single thing I can think sucks right now I have waited for this for years im loving every minute of growing my baby boy. Things that dont suck: Everything I am so happy and everyday is a new milestone and little man has grown that much stronger its such a blessing! And there you have it 5 and half months pregnant it was flying by now im just so anxious to get there and meet this little boy of mine!