Almost halfway

I swore I would be better at updating my blog with pregnancy updates but its just so hard while planning for a baby at the same time and keeping up with the belly book. I am going to try to be better there are lots of things I dont want to forget that are happening. I never thought it would be so hard to choose a nursery setting but oh my gosh I have changed my mind about a hundred times and now im to the point where im just buying the next idea so I cant change it again ha ha. It has been so fun and amazing to plan for our little boy I still sit there in disbelief sometimes thinking that this is no way happening still that in only four months FOUR we will be holding him and starting our new life together. I used to think time was just going so slow but I cant believe how fast this is going by its been so exciting every weeks is a new milestone and something amazing happening learning how he is growing each week and the new things he can do. He is quite the kicker already I never thought I would be able to feel him this much already but you should see it its crazy to watch my stomach poke and move all over the place I swear he is having a good time in there. My husband even got to feel him move from the outside already and it was just amazing we hoped for this for so many years for it to finally be happening to us is just something else. I have let go of the fear for the most part and I have just been enjoying being pregnant but sometimes it does find it way back and and it scares the hell out of me. I wish I could just be like some women and expect everything will be okay but thats just not the truth about it and while we have a damn good chance at everything being just fine its still scary sometime I dont know if its because of the long road to get here or knowing we would have to do it all over again im not sure but it would be nice to just have that 100% peace that things will be just fine. In my heart I feel it will be okay but the thoughts do come and go still. So here I sit 19w2d pregnant and life has not ever been this exciting. We have so many little boy clothes given to us its been so awesome to fill up the closet for him and just to keep getting things ready I really cant wait to start the nursery we are just waiting on a repair for the window and we will get to painting! I got really sick Sunday night and it was pretty much the scariest thing of my life I was so scared for him I have never felt that way before and I just couldnt get my fever to go down I was very close to going to the hospital. Thankfully today I am much better and he is just kicking up a storm right now and my awesome doppler also save my sanity just to make sure his heartbeat was still strong and it was it always is he is such a little miracle fighter baby from the very beginning being nothing but a ball of cells. We had a great night in Park city on Saturday the day before the sickness hit I am wondering if I maybe picked something up from there im not sure but I will be hibernating for the next four months just to not ever have to deal with that again. It was nice to get away with my husband though we had a really nice hotel room and got dressed up all fancy and went to a three course dinner it was relaxing and we just thought how soon it wont be just us anymore but we are more then ready for that day to come. I just love my little man so much already I cant wait to meet him and get to know him life has never been so good and the future is even brighter. Obviously my husband got to enjoy himself more than I did as you can see in the pictures he gets to keep enjoying his beers lol I think he looks adorable when he is feeling good.